Would You Risk it For a Crunchie Biscuit?...No not really.

I have a small friend, she likes her crunchies...this I can understand. I love Crunchies, the honey combed centre, the chocolate top, the way it break and sticks to your teeth so you can still taste it when you have finished it, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

But I wouldn't risk myself for it, i took for a joke my friends crunchie and waved it around as all friends do, and she got annoyed, I may be in the wrong for taking it in the first place granted. So I went to throw it to her boyfriend, throwing it over arm...and what happens, on this could happen to me, it got stuck on a bar on the cieling, not that high up, if you stood on a chair or table then jumped a little you could just about reach it.

Now the chocolate shit got real, she got really annoyed and i laughed a little, which was a bit mean seeing as I just threw something and got it stcuk that she payed for, so i offered to buy her another one since i felt bad. But she stilll got annoyed and walked off. So everyone got annoyed at me and said stand on a chair, throw something at it, stand on a table and then jump for it.

WHY? I could easily harm myself, what if the chair moved as i jumped and i landed akwardly, or it moved forward as I was about to jump and i fell flat on my face? So no, i ignored them all and bought her a new one. Gave it to her, didn't say thanks, and she i still annoyed at me. Yes it was stupid, i apologised, bought her a new one but nope. My friends are like 'Why why why' as if they themselves have never teased their friends. It aggravates me that people can be such hipocrites...

Would you risk it for a crunchie biscuit?

'We're Jammin' The question, or the answer? ...Actually it's neither.

So...yesterday Morning i woke up late. College starts at 8 50 and i set my alarm fro 7:20. So me and my twin brother would have had PLENTY of time to get up and shower and leave...no.

I hear my alarm go off and think 'another 5 mins'...i never did get that 5 minutes. Instead I got an hour and twenty minutes. Yup, i woke up at 8:40 and I had to be in college at 8 FIFTY. So my mum was naturally, well in lamens terms, pissed off because she to just woke up, and now had to drive me and luke to college.

As soon as we left the house, i walked up to my mums and car and when i closed the door, i closed in the atmosphere. My goodness gracious if i had a bow and arrow i could have put a hole in that damned atmosphere. My Mum was pissed off at me and luke, luke was pissed off at me for making him late. So the silence was at the max, it couldn't get anyway worse...and it didn't, it could only really get funnier. For me anyway.

My mum put on the radio to distract herself from the murder of me and luke that was her thoughts, and what should happen to come on? 'Bob Marley's ' were jammin. The irony was that this jamming song is being played in an atmosphere this tense, It nearly made me smirk and chuckle, if luke saw me laugh i would have been punched, if mum saw me laugh she would have pushed me out a moving vehicle.

I like that I look on the bright side of things, sure yesterday morning was annoying and frustrating, but its good to know you can find something funny in situations such as that one.

Everyday we pay the price with a little sacrifice, Jammin' till the jam is through.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DAY THAT YOU FINALLY HAVE ANOTHER SHAG SO THAT YOU CAN STOP BEING SO UP TIGHT AND UP YOUR ARSE!!!! >.<

I told my friend I am not a gambling man.

He replied 'I bet you are.'

It's been a while

It's been a long while since I last updated this blog, lets see if i can remember this right.

Well, I am really on here just to update you on what I have been up to for the last month. I will work backwards.

On during the half term I took my girlfriend to the London Tombs, Europes scariest attraction which makes its names true. My girlfriend was kinda shitting it, and I tried puuting on a brave face I really did...but then near the end I ended up like this!

But it was very good.

Let's see...what else did i do to show just HOW majestic my life truly is...went to the pub a few times, a couple of those time i ended up like this...especially at my friend katy's 19th.

And on bank holiday monday recently pass I went for a nice charming 2 hour five mile walk with my family in west farleigh and went to a very popular pub which does fantastic food, especially for lunch. The name is 'The Tickled Trout', if you are reading this you would be wise to go there.

Coursework is still a right pain in my arse...but i can only sort that out.

And i have now been with my girlfriend for over 9 months and we have booked a holiday to go to spain for a week. So i am looking forward to that, especially since it will be my first with her and my first without my family.

I have my first driving lesson next wednesday, how old have I become.

The day before my half term, my college had a community day, and so they asked me to do two things. 1, perform two scenes from my groups A2 Devised play, and 2, SING A JOSEPH AND HIS TECHNICOLOUR DREAMCOAT NUMBER...now i do not believe in god, or am very religious. So friends and people ask me why do I do these kind of things, such as i did stand up in december, and i do it because its fun. I may be nervous, but I like to perform, to perform infront of people and make them laugh, whether it is with me or at me. I can not sing to save my life, but to make people laugh, smile, cringe but know its funny, and even if they r just laughing at me, then i feel like i am doing something right.

Its why i would love to become an actor, and as a big an industry that is but a hard one, its the only thing I have EVER done that feels like i am doing it right, I love english, I don't mind art, but it's acting that always makes me comfortabe. I go up on stage and i am JUST comfortable. And i love it when my teacher tells me i am doing something wrong, because thats means I am not perfect at it, so there is still room to learn. Though I am not looking for it as a career (now), i am doing amateur dramatics after college, then during that, who knows? Maybe one day i will get an addition, work in a theatre, a talent scout sees me, and boom it could happen like that.

Nick Frost is now one of britains most well know comedic AND dramatic actors in britain and creating a name for himself in America as well with Sean Pegg...and do you know how he started? He was a waiter at a restaurant and he served Simon, and somehow they started talking about star wars, and Nick did an impression of the little robots on the death star, and simon loved it so much he asked him to be a character in a series he was writing called 'Spaced', (a show i now recommend you watch). Ever since he has been in big film after big film, and t.v. programmes. He started out as a waiter...it shows me you don't have to be in drama your whole life to be dedicated to it and love it. So, now my objective is to read the thing i want to do most...but i am not going to give my hopes up just in case i never really reach it.

Well, thats it so far. Talk to you soon.

Cause you will live in happiness too, when you will oompa loompa dooper DIPPIDY DOO!

Happy Birthday

To see your smile a thousand times,
would be a greater gift enough.
But to kiss your lips a thousand more,
would be even stronger stuff.

Happy birthday my Francesca Locke

I Love you xxxx <3 <3 <3

My Personal Monster

I find that I am slowly going into a stressful state due to my work at college. Everytime I think of my work, my stomach seems to squeeze on itself and I can feel bile working its way up into my throat. Though the actual physical reaction has yet to happen.

I can now have a feeling of understanding for 'Frankenstein' in when he was making the creature. For all those who do not know what I mean, here is a quote in which may help you to understand what I mean:

'I appeared rather like one doomed by slavery to toil in the mines…I shunned my fellow creatures as if I had been guilty of a crime'

Thankyou.

I Wish...

I wish I could help you, seeing you so small,
Your memory is not what it was, but your heart remains the same.
I say I love you, but you can only stare into my eyes,
There is a familiarity, but also a loss of yourself.

I remember those times where you would walk strong,
Go on with your day and keep moving on.
You are still alive, but how alive, I do not know,
your brain? Your life? Or even your soul?

You see me sometimes and your thoughts go through,
trying to regain the face of recognition.
You think am I your nephew or maybe your son?
But I am going to be honest with you,
I am your grandson.

You may stay in that sofa, or maybe your bed,
trying to rest your weary confused head.
Your painful stiff legs, no longer in use,
wishing that they were even a little bit loose.

So I'll do you a favour and make your wish,
I'll make your memories mine so you won't forget
that there are those who will never forget you.

I love you nan, and I know you do too.

What's older than a 10 year old dog?

An 11 year old one.

You can teach an old dog new tricks

There's nothing like being showed up by a bunch of 40+ year olds when it comes to Jive.


So there I was, going to my first Jive lesson with my mama (yes and what!) and I was preeeeety confident, I'm not a bad mover when it comes to the dance floor, all those women wanting to dance with me, pinching my arse kissing me on the cheek. Oh yes...I wish girls my age would do that more often and didn't have wrinkles.


So just as we were about to go in mum gives me an interesting fact and a secret of the jive, 'I feel sorry for the men, they have the hardest when it comes to Jive because they are the ones who lead.' I'VE NEVER LED! I just usually end up moving my feet. I am not a bad mover, but I am the youngest of 40+s and they are all thinking, great some young blood, but no now I have to lead...thanks for the confidence boost mum.


So first time in, it's free so I just waltzed over like Billy Big Bollocks Jnr (we call my dad billy big bollcoks cause he has the moooooney) and started talking to some people I knew and asked what it was about. AND THEN IT STARTS.


Nice and slow, beginner's class, and it's all going well, and I am sorry to say gentlemen I did not fall over once or falter so this isn't a funny story.
I am happy to say ladies I did not falter ;-) so don't worry about me stepping on your toes.


I actually had a lot of fun, and I went yesterday  and am really enjoying it. It's nice to just do something, relax, and not have to think about whats happening outside of the hall. I love to dance.


I love my mum for persuading me as well. Thanks mum :-) :-) xxx

Half Term

Today is a different Sunday, it's not that Sunday where you feel slightly depressed because you know it is the end of the weekend and also the next day is Monday.

BUT tomorrow is the start of my half term, and so today's sunday is a lovely sunday because I can have a sleep in tomorrow and every day this week. But it will not be all that since I do have work tomorrow and wednesday starting at 12 and ending at around 6.

But hey ho, that is still only 2 days out of 5 that I am working so it is not all bad, I work saturday's normally anyway. It's still a nice break off, feeling tired and getting rather bored of college at the moment.

So now as I sit here in my comic book Pyjama bottoms, blue hoodie, and green argyle socks with a nice cool glass of Rose wine, I can't help but wonder...why am I wearing green argyle socks? Farewell for now x

Just The Way You Are

What can I say? I was bored so felt like being humourously creative.


Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they are burning
Her hair, her hair, so greasy makes my stomach start churning.

She's so hideous, I wanna tell her every day!

Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she will believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think she thinks that she’s so sexy,
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say

When I see your face, there’s many things I want to change!
Cause you're disgusting, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world runs and hides for a while
Cause girl you're disgusting, just the way you are(yeah)

Her lips, her lips, are black and look like their infected
Her laugh, her laugh, would only make a donkey erected
She's so hideous, and I tell her every day!

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'm gonna ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for put a bag on your face,
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say

When I see your face, there's many things I want to change
Cause you're disgusting, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world runs and hides for a while
Cause girl you're disgusting, just the way you are
The way you are, oh hell you are
Girl you're disgusting, just the way you are.

When I see your face, there's many things I want to change
Cause you're disgusting, just the way you are
And when you smile, my mama stares and faints for a while
Cause girl you're disgusting, just the way you are. Yeah

I Like Me A Rom-Com

When I tell people that one of my favourite genres of films is Rom-Coms, they look me up and down, and two things always happen.

1. They laugh
2. They say 'Really?'

And I am always curious as to why? I am curious as to why the label Rom-Com applied to women and 'gay men' (because supposedly if you are gay you MUST like rom-coms), and when it started?

Since I am neither, which I am sure my girlfriend would be sad about if I were either, then I am breaking some social law of not following the sheep and the cliche of sterotypical men.

I like rom-coms, I like romance, I even like the twilight series (only the books). One of my fondest memories is seeing a girl in my secondary catch me reading it and asking isn't that a book for girls, I said to her 'I dunno, I'll look', and looked for the small print on the book which said 'caution: Not for Boy's Eyes' or 'Girls Book Only.' After saying to her that I can see no symbol that this book is for girls, she just gave me a wierd look and walked away. The fact that she could not reply proves I won, and my intellect and understanding of life is even more than her's. But then again, this is secondary, they are still narrow minded and afraid of being themselves in fear of judgment.

But what people must remember is that books, writers and authors, write for ALL genders, never for one particular sex.

So please, do not be so narrow minded, open up to the world, and remember that we are all the same.

John Fischer Said:
The essence of our effort to see that every child has a chance, must be to assure each an equal oppportunity, not to become equal, but to become different - to realise whatever unique potential of body, mind and spirity he or she possesses.
(http://thinkexist.com/quotes/john_fischer)

So it's just something to think about.

Goodbye viewers, I am off to watch 'The Proposal' ;-)

My Girlfriend's not too pleased with me at the moment.

To be fully honest I don't know why she became so upset when she saw us in bed together.

She is the one who suggested I get closer with her mother.

LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME,
TIME IS A WASTE OF LIFE.
IF YOU GET WASTED ALL THE TIME,
YOU'LL HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!

I'm not quite here today

Today I woke up like any other day.

My phone alarm went off, I put it on snooze, and in another ten minute I awoke from what felt like a waking dream. I had a shower, got dressed, said goodbye to my mum, and then left.

But I feel like it wasn't me that left.

My brain, today, is trying not to comply to my thoughts. It is like I am lightheaded, by my head is heavy. My thought's are in it's own world, but I haven't quite left reality either. I am thinking and thinking, like I am constantly on a train track with no stops, a trail that is the length of forever.

But surely with all these thought's, my head should feel heavy, yet it feels as if it is scarcley there.

I had a fight last night with my mum, about college, not going to r.e. lessons, assuming I am bunking and 'not playing the game.'

Fight's or talks with my mum and dad lately seem to be only about college, what I want to do, grades, coursework. Sometimes I feel she does not understand, I know they have been to school and done the work, but this isn't their work, this is my work, and if I find it difficult to do it sometimes (as in actually not understanding, not not choosing to do it) well that's because that's who I am. I just might not be that academic, and that is not my fault, everyone is different.

I do try, and I know I have to try harder than others to prove I can do it, just like in secondary I had to work harder than most because my academic past is not exactly a good one. To get the GCSE grades I got I had to work my arse off. Now I have to do it again here. That's life I suppose.

Today was the first time I considered about moving out after college, my friend is looking for a job and when he does is saving up to buy an apartment in London. I thought about that and thinking maybe we could be room mates. But there is no point in it. Working at a retail shop isn't exactly going to pay for rent and food. I'd need a proper job.

I am not going to Uni either, the first out of all the new generation Hayes', such as my cousin's and my sister, not to. My twin brother is going. This is my choice, I need a break from education. I feel like I am slowly giving up even though I do not want to. But, it's not that I feel like a failure, but once again due to this choice I am going to have to work hard again to prove what I can do, and to show I do not need a degree to be a good worker and have talent's. I look at my uncle and my dad. Both did not go to Uni and see what they have accomplished because they worked for what they have. If I have that future who know's, if I'll be that lucky only I can accomplish that. But it seem's so hard, so difficult. Like trying to wash dry acrylic paint of your clothes, a stain that will never go away, difficult to wash off.

To those who read this I am not looking for pity, this is not a cry for help or attention. I believe we all feel these fears at time, and i just chose to talk about it

I look at my sister, and brother, both of whom know what to do, where they want to go and what they want to accomplish. They both have a dream, and in a sad way I envy them, not because they are moving forward, I do not mind moving backwards, sometimes it's the best thing to do because you don't exactly start again but you don't exactly finish either, but because they know what to do. I am stuck. I am the fly, the world is my web, and I will have to struggle to get out and start thinking.

I am scared. I am scared for this year and scared for everything else that I am going to have to accomplish in life, because I am worried that it will not be accomplished. I am just going to have to wait to see what the future holds.

Today...I woke up.

I told my friend I'm not a gambling man.

He replied 'I bet you are.'

I wanted to be a taxidermist.
But I stuffed that dream.

I walked into the Butchers the other day. I asked him 'What are the chances of you having any kidney's in?'

He said 'Stakes are high.'

Hell To The Busdriver Busdriver Busdriver, Hell To The Busdriver Man

Well it's in the title really, left my house today with plenty of time to get to my college. Got my Ipod out, listening to a cheeky bit of Meat Loaf 'Dead Ringer for Love', and having a gay ol' time. Then more songs and more songs are playing, I'm now starting to wonder where the bus is after 10 minutes. Look at my phone clock (note to self: get a new watch) and find its now 8:25, and I start college at 8:50.

Well, as you can imagine, I'm starting to worry and think that I am gonna be late since traffic has been bad in Sidcup and I really just wanted to get to college. Not even Glee's version of Aerosmith's classic 'Dream On' could cheer me up...that's when it got serious.

Let me make this more clearer.

8:30 - I AM GOING TO BE LATE

8:35 - WHERE THE HELL IS THE BLOODY BUS!

8:40 - well, no point worrying, I am going to be late.

WELL PEOPLE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! At 8:50 exactly, as if someone up there KNEW what time i started, two, that's right TWO 286's decided to come right at the same time. Well, you can imagine my frustration and the irony of wanting a bus and having two of the same come at the same time. I hopped on a bus, keeping to my anger whilst listening to WILL.I.AM's 'Heartbreaker', until i get to the top of Halfway street in Sidcup. That's when this shit got real. I was stuck in traffic for 25 minutes, 10 of those minutes on the same spot. They seem to have a constant need for road services up in Sidcup because that's what is causing all this un-needed traffic. It's been like that for a year and a half now. They finish, leave for a good month, then come back again, three time they have been there! Unless they are trying to find Middle Earth now they have NO NEED TO BE THERE!

To conclude my story viewers, I was 30 minutes late to my lesson, and so I, as you would imagine, was not allowed in. No form of miracle was performed at my catholic college.

So here I am, writing in my college Libary, telling you my sad sad story of a wednesday morning.

Hell To The Busdriver, Busdriver Man!

A Little Bit More About Me

Well, this is my second blog already in the past 20 minutes, I feel like i'm on a roll with this.

Well let's see if I can live up to the title.
I'm 6ft 3 and also a twin...thats right, a twin. If you know me, then you know that it's fatal if you ask me if I am looking in a mirror. Why would I carry a large mirror around with me just so people can confuse me as a twin?...I stopped doing that years ago.

I'm a wannabe actor as well as a wannabe comedian. From time to time I write my own little jokes in my little black book. Not for girls numbers...and I wondered how I stayed single for so long.

I DO have a girlfriend and her name is Frankie Locke. Real name Francesca...nickname she hates is Fran or Chess. Both which I like to call her for torture. She is a vegetarian, and doesn't eat fish, 'No food with a face.' So you can imagine what its like to cook for her.

I'm in A2 College and do Art, Drama, and English literature...all of which I enjoy, but Art can be a bastard from time to time.

I am not going to Uni, a choice which I am proud to make. It is a big decision, and I do not have to go since people forget it is a choice, not a necessity.

I am proud of who I turned out to be, I had a little of a rough childhood, I was bullied for a while of my Primary school life, but please do not pity me, it's made me who I am today. You always have options, that's what I learnt, and you are never alone.

Nothing to moan about now, just get on with it. it's why it's called the past. As long as I got my friends to be with and be there for me then I am all sorted. But family will always come first.

I am not a fake guy, whats the point, I am who I want to be and find no point to hide it.

So maybe that was more than a little bit more than maybe you viewers expected. But Ho Hum, things happen.

So goodbye, goodbye, good friends goodbye, now it's time to go. But hey I say, well that's ok. Cause we'll be back very soon I know.

Getting with the times